When you hate the most constant characteristic aspect of the world change.
Daily survival becomes tough,
When things change the way you love, it becomes tougher.
Unfortunately, when you're an intense observant and even small tiny behaviors of ones around you agitate your sensitivity and spikes your level of anger out of space that it turns down like tears.
You're stuck in a broken bridge between the past and present of the same person,
poisoned to silent killing by the way they were
and the way they are.
To the extent that you're sad for no reason, but ultimately the reason is embedded within you which could never be expressed because you've lost acceptance over it.
Being so emotionally composed, at least that's how others recognize you.
The only option of expressing your grief is also now vanished.
Putting on those professional fake smiles losing your individuality drop by drop, you cannot fix or mend yourself, neither scream for help.
In reality, the other half of your split personality who spreads positivity everywhere it goes is nothing compared to the inner soul who always searches a shoulder to lie and shout how it feels inside.
Frequently switching between the thought which whispers, "If you mean to them, as much as they mean to you; they would flawlessly reconnect no matter where you've left."
But it's self-decorating when there is no proper reciprocation from the other side.
Hence moving on from your loved ones is physically possible but mentally not.
And finally, you become an emotional vampire with a pleasant smile sucking peace and serenity out of yourself without letting others know a trace of it.
In this phase of life, you realize that you're this person everyone will hate after some point of time.
Maybe that's why you need to wear a mask like most of them do and not open up to many,
So, you can be injured and hurt as usual but at least with fewer scars.
Daily survival becomes tough,
When things change the way you love, it becomes tougher.
Unfortunately, when you're an intense observant and even small tiny behaviors of ones around you agitate your sensitivity and spikes your level of anger out of space that it turns down like tears.
You're stuck in a broken bridge between the past and present of the same person,
poisoned to silent killing by the way they were
and the way they are.
To the extent that you're sad for no reason, but ultimately the reason is embedded within you which could never be expressed because you've lost acceptance over it.
Being so emotionally composed, at least that's how others recognize you.
The only option of expressing your grief is also now vanished.
Putting on those professional fake smiles losing your individuality drop by drop, you cannot fix or mend yourself, neither scream for help.
In reality, the other half of your split personality who spreads positivity everywhere it goes is nothing compared to the inner soul who always searches a shoulder to lie and shout how it feels inside.
Frequently switching between the thought which whispers, "If you mean to them, as much as they mean to you; they would flawlessly reconnect no matter where you've left."
But it's self-decorating when there is no proper reciprocation from the other side.
Hence moving on from your loved ones is physically possible but mentally not.
And finally, you become an emotional vampire with a pleasant smile sucking peace and serenity out of yourself without letting others know a trace of it.
In this phase of life, you realize that you're this person everyone will hate after some point of time.
Maybe that's why you need to wear a mask like most of them do and not open up to many,
So, you can be injured and hurt as usual but at least with fewer scars.
Beautifully written
ReplyDeleteNo any point is missed. I heartily appreciate it. And seems It's taken from life who suffers. Whatever, Thinking that only 1 to 2 times read can't satisfy me. I hv to read it for several times. Much similarity exists. That's my type of choice.
ReplyDelete