The cold, grey morning of December that you first saw me, I was laden with three layers of unimpressive wool and a silly monkey cap. Yet, you smiled at me, and strangely, it felt more comforting than any sunny spot on that winter day. My cheeks turned red; my soul was perplexed.
It felt weird, felt different, felt right.
'Ajeeb daastaan hai yeh, kaha shuru kaha khatam...'
You kissed a boy and told me. That made me kiss a girl and tell you. Not exactly the maturest thing to do, but you were clueless and me, young, dumb, and chaotic. What were we supposed to be? Where do we go from there?
'Yeh manzilein hai kaun si, na wo samajh sake na hum...'
A long aisle lined with red roses, you on the opposite end with a sparkly ring, the boy who wears fancy leather jackets and no socks on cold winter mornings walking down it and me, on the sidelines, watching. I couldn't interpret my emotions. But then again, when were they ever clear?
'Kisi ka pyaar le kar tum, naya jahan basaoge...'
Freezing winter evenings, I wear dull oversized sweaters and knitted gloves, tightly gripping a cup of hot chocolate as I search for a tiny circle of warmth, a temporary spot in the sun on the cold, lonely ground. Is it sad that my favorite things don't make me smile anymore? I think I hate the cold even more. It reminds me of you.
'Yeh shaam jab bhi aayegi, tum hum ko yaad aaoge...'
Emotions still brim up sometimes. Some days, they overflow, some days, they're half empty. They begin somewhere, end somewhere, and I've accepted the mess. I've accepted the sadness, regret, and I've started to accept happiness again. The sun makes me smile slightly. Maybe it's a delayed end, a new beginning.
'Ajeeb daastaan hai yeh, kaha shuru kaha khatam...'
I loved it....you grow my boy...much love
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