My ring tone dragged me out of sleep.
Squinting, I try to see past the burning brightness of my phone.
As my tired brain tried to make out the ten digits, I was mentally cursing the person who'd call me this late at night.
"Hello," I said, rubbing my eyes.
"Hey, did I wake you?" asked a husky voice. I immediately jolted up, not because of its deep tone, but because I knew it all too well.
It was the voice with whom I'd spent hours on the phone.
It was her voice.
"I know it's late. But are you free?" she asked.
"Uh..uh.. yeah sure," I stammered.
It had been months since we'd spoken.
Apparently, exes can't be friends.
"I am aware it's been long, but I need to talk to you," she said.
Those words immediately brought a smile to my face.
Had she been thinking about me?
The butterflies came back to life in my stomach.
"I know it's selfish of me to talk to you about this, but I didn't know who else to go."
I was confused now.
What is she talking?
"There's this boy."
My heart sunk.
"He's so different. Really different. He makes me want to be a better person. He's so strong, I mean after everything he's been through he's still so happy. He inspires me..."
Her excited voice continued speaking, but I couldn't hear anymore. It's like my brain stopped trying to understand what she was saying.
My throat went dry, and my vision started to go blur.
"You there?" she asked, just now noticing that I hadn't said anything in a while.
"Yeah," I replied, struggling to hide my shaky voice.
She continued, and it hurt knowing that she didn't realize that I was crying.
I couldn't help but wonder what I'd done wrong. Why couldn't I be that boy for her?
Why had I failed to make her feel this way?
My eyes were stinging now.
And suddenly it hit me.
Just because she was the love of my life, doesn't mean I was her.
And even if that breaks my heart, it was the truth.
She deserved to be as happy as she made me feel.
So I wipe my tears and continue listening to her.
With a heavy heart, but a smile on my face, I wish for a happy ending this time, even if the love story wasn't mine.
Dear Kabira, I don't know what's perfect, the lyrics or the feelings you say which I fail to express. Sometimes you meet some songs that melt you from the places you are afraid to touch. Re Kabira Maan Jaa (रे कबीरा मान जा) Re Faqeera Maan Jaa (रे फ़कीरा मान जा) Aaja Tujhko Pukaare Teri Parchhaaiyan (आजा तुझको पुकारे तेरी परछाईयाँ) Your heart just can't stop beating for the lines that play with all the untouched memories you have. Loneliness engulfs you, it tears you part by part and this song just makes you feel everything you hide from the world. This song calls you to be back home and realise your home needs you. It questions why do you want to wander for answers when your home is right there in front of you? Your shadow is calling you back. Come home. Tooti Chaarpaai Wohi (टूटी चारपाई वही) Thandi Purvaai Rasta Dekhe, (ठंडी पुरवाई रस्ता देखे) Doodhon Ki Malaai Wohi (दूधों की मलाई वही) Mitti Ki Suraahi Rasta Dekhe (मिट्टी की सुराही रस्ता देखे) This song gives beautiful me...
Umm. What to say i don't know. I don't know whose story of it. Regard it many of us who faced it. Whatever, love it heartily.
ReplyDeleteFor once it made me feel, you will give it a happy ending.... but Yash is Yash ;)
ReplyDeleteHolding on to emotions is what a writer does at his best, like you!!!